There is a definite hierarchy to acknowledge when staking out your territory on the T. Obviously the seats are at the top of this pyramid. Standing in front of the door comes next, though this offers a clear disadvantage when passengers have to maneuver around you to get in or off of the train, with you stuck grasping the pole in fear of being shuffled around. On the green line, clinging to the rail along the stairs is acceptable, but a challenge if the driver has a penchant for sudden stops.
The lower tier is, in contrast, anxiety-provoking. No one wants to get stuck swinging from the rubber loops while looking awkwardly into the face of whoever is sitting below. Not only is this spot uncomfortable, but it is also creepily sexual.
Arguably the worst spot to occupy is the space between two cars. Your body is left twisting around while your feet struggle to remain on the small spot of floor that isn’t in constant motion. You are certainly not going to get laid when you’re spazzing so uncontrollably.
But, then again, sulking in a plastic seat next to a woman eating Fritos isn’t going to get you anywhere either. The spot by the door, though frenetic, is probably the most virile.
Published at See Gauge Blog on February 24, 2012.