Let’s Stare at Each Other Until We Hate Everyone

The girls bathroom is a breeding ground for cat fights. Especially if it’s a bathroom in a club/bar/high school/Laguna Beach where all of the girls have one goal: to look hot. Girls will say they stand in mile-long lines to get into a stall because that coffee just ran straight through them!

But the real reason girls will wait, pressed rudely against one another in a fruitless attempt to goad those at the front of the line to move faster, it doesn’t take that long to pee, is for:

a.) a few seconds/excruciatingly long minutes (depending on how far into the night it is/how much makeup has been sweated off) in front of a dusty mirror

b.) time to be Mean Girls-style judgmental

Girls like to stare. At themselves, and at each other. They aren’t discreet about it, choosing to glare until the victim knows the judger means to say, “Hey, your outfit looks like goose poop and the norovirus had a baby. Suck it.”

It’s a ruthless world when the trophy is a chance to be accidentally knocked up by a budding alcoholic. His genes are like gold.

Published at See Gauge Blog on March 2, 2012.

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